I want change for the better

The day I knew that I’d be spending mostly half of my adult life unproductively will be at corporate jungle, I was already exhausted. It’s the norms that level headed people prefer to, And if I had the chance, I’d definitely choose the other route, the road less taken, the road where not all are aware, freelancing.

I am bad at instruction I’d be doing 80% of the job you asked me, 20% is somewhere between I forgot this or I save my self for the trouble. I’m not lazy I am just not perfect.

I hope for the day when I don’t need to torture myself over alarm clock and countless yawn at work, I’ve had enough exasperation with doing the same thing for half a decade..That may sounds too long, I just like the sound of it, but I’ve just begun the monotonous life of a working girl. 6 years in the process and 100 peso balance on my bank account.

I have not let go of my first love, my first secret affair I’ve kept for the longest time- Illustration.   My parents were not very supportive by then, If I get caught doodling on my class notebook, She’ll tear me into pieces; Mother’s exact word was “pag nahuli ulit kitang nagdudumi sa notebook mo pupunitin ko to” See the difference? I was already good at translating my mother’s provocative declaration. So I sometimes manage to barter some extra food for a spare notebook to my classmates; where safely hidden away from my siblings prying eyes.  Little did I know I was not the only artistically inclined in the family, my little sister share the same skill.

When high school came the fuss was all about boys, I might have eventually forced myself to like someone because it was the “in”, but deep in my heart I was still fascinated with making paper doll and its clothes. Came all the teenagers nightmare pimples, puberty, and responsibility I stopped what I was liking the most, not because I needed to but because my parents think it was immature.

When I hit the college road, I was unaware of the existence of art; it did not cross in my mind to take its course. I manage to take the very unlikely me, Culinary, HRM as a matter of fact, only to realize I have spent most of my class doodling even on armchair, classy eh?

I regret the day I let my skill be controlled, I never had any bad feelings towards my parents, I was just disappointed. Looking at my improvement and at my time, I need to learn new techniques quicker than I should have in regular classes. Going back to school for formal lessons in art and illustration is a plan why freelancing has it worlds, money and time, the perks nowhere to be found in a one bound office girl with regular shift. As of the moment I’ll just have to rely on my own practice, self taught is the new word anyway.